Losing a job is one of those life altering things that so many people have had to deal with, these days. For a lot of people, it is a threat to their existence. It’s the loss of a much needed income in order to survive. For many, it’s the sole income, for others it’s a second income, but one that was needed to carry on in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed to. A much anticipated family vacation, a special birthday gift or a redesign or remodel in a home.

For the single income people, it could mean the loss of a home, vital healthcare or debt recovery. It ruins relationships, causes dangerous health issues and drives one deeper into debt to where recovery seems impossible. It could be devastating.

I lost my job almost one week ago. Not because of anything I did or didn’t do. Not because of poor performance. In fact, my whole team have been praised to the heights for our work. No, this was because of one person’s decision to just close up shop. Four days after that decision was made, the lights were turned off. This was one of the owners, who claimed it was for health reasons that they could no longer service the needs of the many.

While I don’t doubt that the health reasons weren’t there, I and my team feel that there were other options open to her that could have kept the business up and running until sucha time as she would have decided to come back to the fold, if she wanted to do that. Or, at the very least, remain as consultant in the shadows.

Nevertheless, the decision was made and it’s all gone now. I fell into the category of employees who did not need the job. I worked because I wanted to. It kept me busy. I had planned on retiring in four years from this company. I loved the job, the people and my team, specifically. I have never worked for a better team where we all actually understood what “team” meant. We supported each other in difficult times and in good times. We made each other laugh when it was needed the most. It was a high-stress job for us all but we were able to do it well because we hung together.

I feel like I can compare losing this particular job with losing a loved one. The grief and loss feels the same. Oh, I know that you’ll say that it’s nothing like losing a loved one, but to me it is. I have lost a loved one. And while the grief period is not the same at all, while it lasts it still feels like grief. I wasn’t ready to lose this job. I wasn’t finished with it. I enjoyed it. I looked forward to it Monday through Friday. I’ve started looking for something else but when you’re still not over the last job, it’s very hard to see yourself doing anything else. There is nothing out there that motivates me at all.

I’m also still trying to figure out why it happened. Not the reason for the business closing, but why this happened to us. God promises that when one door closes, He will open another and it will be better than before. I believe that with my whole heart. It’s what keeps me from depression over this. It keeps me hopeful. I’m even a little excited about what is to come next. I say ‘a little’ only because I’m still sad over losing this last job.

I’m not hanging my head or walking around with a constant frown. It’s all internal. Well, except for this post. This blog is sort of therapy for me right now. This will be the only time I will speak of this because I know that I will recover and I am still a happy person. This is only a page that I hesitate to turn, but turn it I will.

Another day, another chance to sparkle.